I had a somewhat of request to write about my opinion on friendship….well, now even though I think I make one of the best of friends 😉 I don’t know if I’m the best to give my opinion. As most know, I do have high expectations, whether they be of myself or of others and what I expect from them….well, those expectations are there. I don’t apologize for this and in fact the older I get the more sense it makes to me. I was always that little girl who flipped her pony tail behind her as I said, “Get over it”. That little girl still dominates; I don’t think it’s bad to want and expect only the best of things….as I’ve said.
Friendship to me can be just as beautiful as the sun rising over the hilltops spreading itself on the field. As precious as a baby’s hand in yours. As lovely as sweet love and as wonderful as something tasty on the tongue. I appreciate the friendships that are real, sincere, meaningful and fun. What I want most in a friendship is a place where I can strictly let all the parts of me fall, where I laugh until my abs hurt, where we can just look at each other and we understand what’s going on. I appreciate friendships where it’s equal. Everyone has their stuff, their times they just want to vent. I appreciate the friend that will listen, the friend that will tell me to shut up or get over it, the friend that will know whether to say anything at all. These friends of mine are rare, as so many are and are the most cherished.
Now, I know MANY of people and I’m sure this is someone’s story reading this, where they are only friends with someone because they don’t want to be lonely or afraid what people may think. They’re only friends because they have been since grade school but there isn’t a connection anymore. They’re friends with someone that uses them….they use them to carry the load of the burdens, to unload their burdens, and to make them part of the burden. This is where I cut out. I could have been friends with someone for yeeeears, and the MOMENT, the very SECOND that I realize they no longer know me, or we no longer fit into each others lives appropriately or they are users, I say goodbye and I don’t look back.
I’ve had friends that didn’t agree with what I did (can’t say I blame them, I did very careless things at some points) would blast me for it and bad mouth me to others….those friends are gone that’s not a friendship. I’ve had friends that blasted me and I would explain to them that it happens etc., and years later they’re finding themselves in the SAME situations. This happens.
Life happens, nobody leaves unscathed, the fire burns and I believe everyone will get burned at some points in life. This is the basics of friendship and it should be an understanding.
If you ever feel that you are trying to “save”, “help” your friend or fight their battles STOP and ask yourself why you’re doing it. If you ever think that you’re better than your friend STOP and ask yourself why. I get all these reasons, I’ve been there myself, but friendships are equal. As I’ve matured I’ve learned that the very sacred friendship is being able to be around each other and share the joy of being women or men together. The strengths of BOTH people coming out and creating an amazing bond. When there is weakness hopefully your friend is right there holding your hand and helping you through, or smacking you upside the head telling you to come out of it.
Being a real friend is having courage to tell that person what they don’t want to hear and you knowing them well enough to know how it’s going to be best received. Friendship is knowing that you can help someone out and it will be reciprocated without thought.
Friendship is rare…..I’m learning that ALL those old sayings are so incredibly true. So, for as rare as friendships are hard to come by, don’t SETTLE for the ones that only hurt you, use/manipulate you, or only gain from being just YOUR friend.
Tell your true friends hi today-let them know you care. For my friends reading this….thanks 🙂