Growing Pains

I’ve wrote about the struggle of growth. How to face change with bravery and push through even the discomfort. It’s never been said it was easy. A conversation my husband and I had with our daughters,  that very seldom is the better option or the option to stand out from the rest, the easy option. The hard one is difficult for a reason but in the end will allow such growth.

This guy is my story of my biggest growing pain. For so long I had imagined a tall, dark haired guy with light eyes-even to the point of knowing his name “Jake”(just Jake). I always imagined he would be an officer of some sort…someone who helped others constantly.

It took me forever to meet him. Would I have eventually? Perhaps…probably. It turns out I didn’t meet him until after a divorce and after two daughters of my own. After I was stuck believing I wouldn’t meet anyone ever that I would consider a life with again. After heartache of loss from before. After being “stuck in my ways”,  be it independence-or my own ornery self. It was after. It was a struggle.

He came in and though his name fit, the career and looks….he wasn’t quite what I thought—because you see? He had lived his own crazy journey. So here I was, shocked this was my guy. It was painful. Painful to let go of my ideas, my ways of doing everything, the independence I had grown from being single. The fact I was bringing someone into my daughters life, who I SWORE would only be there if he loved them just as much as he did myself. And guess what? He did!

I believe everything happens for a reason because at one point when I was trying to run as fast as I could away from this man. I felt like I had been plucked up and sat right back in front of him (I tried this a few times). I have no problem with saying goodbye and no longer speaking to people…but apparently he was difficult to run away from.

He pushes me. As much as he drives me crazy–he pushes me to be better. He has every reason not to love anything or anyone and he loves with his whole heart. But the point of it all? It made me uncomfortable! Every now and then when I remember it’s not just my girls and I-I’m uncomfortable! But if I had ran away and let it all go? I would’ve missed out on such an amazing man, my Jake….my opportunity to grow in every way imaginable because of the love and what he provides me. Much to my dismay….he grew…and grew–even with the discomfort. So STOP being afraid of discomfort. STOP running if you’re uncomfortable (Unless it’s a total crap move – just sayin’).

If it fits…let it take you and let yourself grow.

Meet Jake…just Jake 💕

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