Growing Pains

I’ve wrote about the struggle of growth. How to face change with bravery and push through even the discomfort. It’s never been said it was easy. A conversation my husband and I had with our daughters,  that very seldom is the better option or the option to stand out from the rest, the easy option. The hard one is difficult for a reason but in the end will allow such growth.

This guy is my story of my biggest growing pain. For so long I had imagined a tall, dark haired guy with light eyes-even to the point of knowing his name “Jake”(just Jake). I always imagined he would be an officer of some sort…someone who helped others constantly.

It took me forever to meet him. Would I have eventually? Perhaps…probably. It turns out I didn’t meet him until after a divorce and after two daughters of my own. After I was stuck believing I wouldn’t meet anyone ever that I would consider a life with again. After heartache of loss from before. After being “stuck in my ways”,  be it independence-or my own ornery self. It was after. It was a struggle.

He came in and though his name fit, the career and looks….he wasn’t quite what I thought—because you see? He had lived his own crazy journey. So here I was, shocked this was my guy. It was painful. Painful to let go of my ideas, my ways of doing everything, the independence I had grown from being single. The fact I was bringing someone into my daughters life, who I SWORE would only be there if he loved them just as much as he did myself. And guess what? He did!

I believe everything happens for a reason because at one point when I was trying to run as fast as I could away from this man. I felt like I had been plucked up and sat right back in front of him (I tried this a few times). I have no problem with saying goodbye and no longer speaking to people…but apparently he was difficult to run away from.

He pushes me. As much as he drives me crazy–he pushes me to be better. He has every reason not to love anything or anyone and he loves with his whole heart. But the point of it all? It made me uncomfortable! Every now and then when I remember it’s not just my girls and I-I’m uncomfortable! But if I had ran away and let it all go? I would’ve missed out on such an amazing man, my Jake….my opportunity to grow in every way imaginable because of the love and what he provides me. Much to my dismay….he grew…and grew–even with the discomfort. So STOP being afraid of discomfort. STOP running if you’re uncomfortable (Unless it’s a total crap move – just sayin’).

If it fits…let it take you and let yourself grow.

Meet Jake…just Jake 💕

“Few men during…

“Few men during their lifetime come anywhere near exhausting the resources dwelling within them. There are deep wells of strength that are never used.” Richard E. Byrd

It’s a Wordy Wednesday so I think I’ll just do a little poetry. I love the quote above, but in fact it takes great courage to dig into the deep wells of strength that are never used.

 

To lead the life you call your OWN takes much strength and courage than is ever known

You change your life  you can’t just walk away from the life you created for the end of day

Not everyone can be saved my dear, but then who will make it becomes your fear

The battle isn’t yet won and everyone hasn’t come undone. Eventually it will be lost forever in a time you won’t be able to remember.

Sometimes to save a life doesn’t mean to risk your own-know your situation and if your life is worth letting go.

The strength inside you that resonates you’ll discover soon, there’s more than just the strength and fiery will that’s ignited in you.

But in this lifetime as we know it, your life is more important.

Let it go….Let it go

Just a little random poetry

The bomb went off, but somehow I’m still moving. My blue eye filled with grey smoke clouds as I watched part of me dying. My body still reeks of gasoline, I hear people crying. I feel the burning of my skin and I can still taste the blood in my mouth.

Like a robot I just keep moving, walking away from something I never had. Watch all the burning and the people going mad.

Two little hands seem to find mine, somehow they live without a scratch. Tears roll down my charred face, just got to get away, get away.

I can see a light at the end where the little hands lead me, with someone holding open the door, maybe I can get my torched body to make it a few steps more.

The bomb went off, but somehow I’m still moving.

 

A little late on the post today–Enjoy your day and be kind!!

Wordy Wednesday–Woman of strength

Hey all–You know how my wordy Wednesdays can be 😉 Just a little poem:

 

You are confused, she isn’t so nice….her blood is laced with ice. However she’s the most kind you’ll find- Her light will blind you, don’t look with your eyes…she’s one of the purest heart of time.

But she’s backed down for far too long, all so everyone could get a long. Between the drama and the rage, she scrunched into a little cage.

Uh oh, now she’s risen from the grave, either fall in step with her pace or run far far away.

Never underestimate a strong woman she’s the most bound and determined….and even if she’s played a little dumb, trust, she knows what’s been happening all along.

Don’t take for granted the only love she gives you’ll never feel it again while you live.

In her mind she’s connected the dots and she will no longer apologize at someone else’s cost. The door has been opened and out she went, no more exceptions ….

Be kind! Happy wordy Wednesday!

Petals by Amy L…

Petals by Amy Lowell

Life is a stream

On which we strew
Petal by petal the flower of our heart;
The end lost in dream,
They float past our view,
We only watch their glad, early start. 

Freighted with hope,
Crimsoned with joy,
We scatter the leaves of our opening rose;
Their widening scope,
Their distant employ,
We never shall know. And the stream as it flows
Sweeps them away,
Each one is gone
Ever beyond into infinite ways.
We alone stay
While years hurry on,
The flower fared forth, though its fragrance still stays.

 

Happy Freedom Friday

I was Made Erec…

I was Made Erect and Lone……

Henry David Thoreau

I was Made Erect and Lone

I was made erect and lone,
And within me is the bone;
Still my vision will be clear,
Still my life will not be drear,
To the center all is near.
Where I sit there is my throne.
If age choose to sit apart,
If age choose, give me the start,
Take the sap and leave the heart. 

Henry David Thoreau
 
This is one for me lately……what poem suits you? 
Happy Wordy Wednesday and be kind!

Saturday Sonnet

walk

Come close my dear while I hold your heart

Take a minute to make your world your art

Breathe deep and simple, but take me all in

I am Picasso you are my muse

Fall away to another place

Where the time and people don’t allow mistakes

Where all is lost but nothing is gone

A time where nothing is wrong

Follow me down the road less traveled while we tell our stories to the traveling man

Take my hand to a place of glory, where only you see the promise of land.

Walk strong steps with me we as we go, there may be some loose footing along this road

Take note of something a little off, be the one who notices

Smile so bright it hurts my eyes

Make sure people see and recognize truth in their mind

Be strong dear one and walk away, take notice of everyday, breathe in soft, simple and sweet. Be all with little keeping you awake, let you be your own master of fate.

I may be a poet and you didn’t know it….a little something I thought I’d share.Rebecca-